http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/-t1.htm Keep them reasonably clean Thu, 12 Nov 2009 09:34:58 GMT 10 http://i60.servimg.com/u/f60/13/50/26/09/fotoje10.jpg http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/-t1.htm http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/the-japanese-t878.htm MikeH

It's really another one of those urban myths that go around.....]]> Jokes Thu, 12 Nov 2009 09:34:58 GMT http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/the-japanese-t878.htm#5881 http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/the-japanese-t878.htm http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/some-jokes-t876.htm MikeH A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe with a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, 'If you can catch me, I'm yours.' Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the next four days ... Jokes Wed, 11 Nov 2009 19:35:40 GMT http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/some-jokes-t876.htm#5871 http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/some-jokes-t876.htm http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/for-the-ladies-t830.htm MikeH He didn't like the casserole. And he didn't like my cake. He said my biscuits were too hard... Not like his mother used to make. I didn't perk the coffee right He didn't like the stew, I didn't mend his socks The way his mother used to do. I pondered for an answer I was looking for a clue. Then I turned around and smacked him... Like his mother used to do. Jokes Wed, 28 Oct 2009 08:14:04 GMT http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/for-the-ladies-t830.htm#5540 http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/for-the-ladies-t830.htm http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/you-ll-like-this-to-be-sure-to-be-sure-t753.htm AhnjF You'll like this to be sure, to be sure --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle, they walk over to the bird section and Gerry says to Paddy, 'Dat's dem.' The owner comes over and asks if he can help them. 'Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere,' says Gerry. The owner puts the budgies in a cardboard box. Paddy and Gerry pay for the birds, leave the shop and get into Gerry's truck ... Jokes Thu, 17 Sep 2009 10:37:02 GMT http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/you-ll-like-this-to-be-sure-to-be-sure-t753.htm#4974 http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/you-ll-like-this-to-be-sure-to-be-sure-t753.htm http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/speaking-of-which-read-on-t750.htm tonybev Does this sound familier: Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop." Customer: "Ok." Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?" Customer: "No." Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?" Customer: "No." Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?" Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and ... Jokes Tue, 15 Sep 2009 13:17:35 GMT http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/speaking-of-which-read-on-t750.htm#4965 http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/speaking-of-which-read-on-t750.htm http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/turpentine-v-holy-water-t665.htm scotsouth A little boy was sitting on the curb with a gallon of turpentine, shaking it up and watching all the bubbles. A while later a Priest came along and asked the little boy what he had. The little boy replied, 'This is the most powerful liquid in the world; it's called turpentine.' The Priest said, 'No, the most powerful liquid in the world is Holy Water. If you take some of this Holy Water and rub it on a pregnant woman's belly, she'll pass a healthy baby.' The little boy ... Jokes Sun, 02 Aug 2009 19:03:26 GMT http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/turpentine-v-holy-water-t665.htm#4361 http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/turpentine-v-holy-water-t665.htm http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/kids-are-quick-t663.htm scotsouth Kids Are Quick ____________________________________ TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America . MARIA: Here it is. TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ? CLASS: Maria. ____________________________________ TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables. ... Jokes Sun, 02 Aug 2009 17:48:30 GMT http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/kids-are-quick-t663.htm#4347 http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/kids-are-quick-t663.htm http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/irish-boy-s-confession-t662.htm scotsouth Irish Boy's Confession 'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl'. The priest asks, 'Is that you, Dicky?' 'Yes, Father, it is.' 'And who was the girl you were with?' 'I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation.' 'Well, Dicky, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Mary Walsh?' 'I cannot say.' 'Was it Teresa Brown?' 'I'll never tell.' 'Was it Margaret Doyle?' 'I'm ... Jokes Sun, 02 Aug 2009 17:47:04 GMT http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/irish-boy-s-confession-t662.htm#4346 http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/irish-boy-s-confession-t662.htm http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/cow-flu-t617.htm kenansoo ]]> Jokes Tue, 21 Jul 2009 09:29:06 GMT http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/cow-flu-t617.htm#3975 http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/cow-flu-t617.htm http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/swine-flu-t380.htm Jenniewren A chap rang the NHS helpline for advice on Swine Flu but couldn't get through, cause there was too much crackling on the line...boom boom, it's the way I tell 'em!

Jen xx]]> Jokes Sat, 02 May 2009 10:59:17 GMT http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/swine-flu-t380.htm#2349 http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/swine-flu-t380.htm http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/a-priest-and-a-nun-t287.htm MikeH A priest and a nun are on their way back from the seminary when their car breaks down. The garage doesn't open until morning so they have to spend the night in a B&B. It only has one room available. The priest says: "Sister, I don't think the Lord would object if we spend the night sharing this one room. I'll sleep on the sofa and you have the bed." "I think that would be fine," agrees the nun. They prepare for bed, say some prayers and settle down to sleep. Ten minutes ... Jokes Fri, 10 Apr 2009 16:11:20 GMT http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/a-priest-and-a-nun-t287.htm#1550 http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/a-priest-and-a-nun-t287.htm http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/shopping-t286.htm MikeH Two girlfriends are chatting. "Have you heard about the new husband shopping centre in town?" one asks. "It's a four-floor building where women can go to choose a husband from hundreds of eligible men. The only rule is, once you go up a floor, you can't go down, except to leave the place never to return. Let's try it out." So, the pair head off to the shopping centre. Climbing the stairs to the first floor, they find a sign on a door reading, "These men have jobs ... Jokes Fri, 10 Apr 2009 16:06:15 GMT http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/shopping-t286.htm#1549 http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/shopping-t286.htm http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/e-u-directive-t141.htm Ray Fothergill T he European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as 'Euro-English'. In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard ... Jokes Sat, 07 Mar 2009 17:37:05 GMT http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/e-u-directive-t141.htm#574 http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/e-u-directive-t141.htm http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/australian-salesman-t57.htm scotsouth THE AUSTRALIAN APPROACH A young Aussie lad moved to London and went to Harrods looking for a job. The manager asked 'Do you have any sales experience?' The young man answered 'Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Dubbo.' The manager liked the Aussie so he gave him the job. His first day was challenging and busy, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the manager came down and asked, 'OK, so how many sales did you make today?' The ... Jokes Mon, 09 Feb 2009 21:44:46 GMT http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/australian-salesman-t57.htm#161 http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/australian-salesman-t57.htm http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/have-you-heard-the-one-about-t285.htm tonybev The Camel and the Sphnix..( yeah, ok, the old,uns are the best ) Twas a dark and windy night, not a star nor moonlight shone, it was an easy mistake to make amidst the sand-dunes of Arabia, the night the Camel & the Sphnix did meet.. Now Camels are only human things...they have feelings just like you and me..and certain urges that need to be fullfilled on a dark and windy night in the Sand-dunes of Arabia.. But horror.... the Sphnix,s interior passage was ... Jokes Thu, 09 Apr 2009 21:55:42 GMT http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/have-you-heard-the-one-about-t285.htm#1540 http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/have-you-heard-the-one-about-t285.htm http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/some-to-lighten-up-the-weekend-t284.htm MikeH A friend of mine works in a camera store. The other day a very confused looking woman approached the counter and handed my friend a camera. She said "I took pictures, but I forgot to put the memory card in the camera. Can you please get them out of the camera for me?" One day I was working in the darkroom with my girlfriend. Things started out negative but soon I was enlarging. As it started to develop, I told her we should stop before we got into a fix, but she said it would ... Jokes Thu, 09 Apr 2009 17:02:30 GMT http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/some-to-lighten-up-the-weekend-t284.htm#1534 http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/some-to-lighten-up-the-weekend-t284.htm http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/jokes-t196.htm Anonymous on entering the surgery the doctor told him, I will require a urine sample, a stool sample,
and a sperm sample.

What did he say said the pensioner? who was hard of hearing.

Give him your Underpants said his wife]]> Jokes Sat, 21 Mar 2009 17:57:35 GMT http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/jokes-t196.htm#978 http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/jokes-t196.htm http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/big-city-t168.htm Monty Grice An Australian farmer decides it's time his son experienced life in the big city. So he gave him a few hundred dollars and sent him off to Sydney. Telling him he had come of age and it was time for him to see the brighter side of life , and get his first experience of women. So off he goes on his great adventure. He has a great time around the bars of Sydney, and by the end of the night he finds himself a woman and she invites him back to her place. Back at her flat they have a few more ... Jokes Sat, 14 Mar 2009 23:30:11 GMT http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/big-city-t168.htm#783 http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/big-city-t168.htm http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/the-fridge-t138.htm Anonymous I got up early this morning and went to make tea and toast and I could hear the Bee Gees singing coming from the fridge so I opened it up, but it was ok it was just the Chives talking Jokes Fri, 06 Mar 2009 20:58:00 GMT http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/the-fridge-t138.htm#556 http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/the-fridge-t138.htm http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/when-god-made-scotland-t125.htm MikeH Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?" God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look Michael, look what I've made." Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?" "It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to ... Jokes Thu, 05 Mar 2009 19:22:59 GMT http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/when-god-made-scotland-t125.htm#510 http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/when-god-made-scotland-t125.htm http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/a-selection-for-your-delight-t124.htm MikeH There was this photographer in one of the most remote parts of the African continent on an assignment. He came across a primitive village where the residents were living in thatched huts and wearing colourful primitive garments. He approached a man who appeared to be the chief who was wearing a large headdress made of woven hemp and colorful feathers. The photographer, not knowing how to speak to him, pointed to his camera then to the chief. The chief nodded. As the photographer was taking ... Jokes Thu, 05 Mar 2009 19:15:53 GMT http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/a-selection-for-your-delight-t124.htm#509 http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/a-selection-for-your-delight-t124.htm http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/balloons-t100.htm Monty Grice There was a mummy balloon, a daddy balloon and a baby balloon. The baby balloon would not sleep in it's own bed. So daddy balloon said, "It's got to stop, you must sleep in your own bed". baby balloon promised he would. That night baby balloon woke up, and couldn't get back to sleep. So he went into his mummy and daddies room. He tried to sneak in between them but he couldn't. So he deflated his mother a little; he still couldn't fit in. He deflated his father a tiny bit and ... Jokes Tue, 24 Feb 2009 21:57:14 GMT http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/balloons-t100.htm#376 http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/balloons-t100.htm http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/monkey-business-t92.htm Anonymous Once upon a time a man appeared in a village and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for £ 10 each. The villagers, knowing there were many monkeys, went to the forest and started catching them. The man bought thousands at £ 10 and, as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He then announced that he would buy monkeys at £ 20 each. This renewed the villagers efforts and they started ... Jokes Thu, 19 Feb 2009 20:19:12 GMT http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/monkey-business-t92.htm#323 http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/monkey-business-t92.htm http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/war-on-warrington-t87.htm Anonymous What's wrong with this stationmaster? Kissing is a natural and enjoyable activity - and quite essential for maintaining healthy body temperature whilst waiting in unheated railway premises for all those trains 'unavoidably delayed' by hitherto undiscovered varieties of leaf, rain, snow, sleet, ice, scheduling problems, engineering works, rare centipedes on the line etc etc. Those not wishing to kiss should clearly travel by Virgin rail. No doubt Richard Branson can devise a suitable scheduled ... Jokes Tue, 17 Feb 2009 17:30:21 GMT http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/war-on-warrington-t87.htm#288 http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/war-on-warrington-t87.htm http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/baby-photographer-t48.htm MikeH It's an oldie but hey... The Smiths had no children and decided to use a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr.Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon." Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning madam. You don't know me but I've come to...." "Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. ... Jokes Sun, 08 Feb 2009 22:52:39 GMT http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/baby-photographer-t48.htm#138 http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/baby-photographer-t48.htm http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/have-a-smile-t23.htm Anonymous
A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath.
'Mom', he asked, 'Are these my brains?'
'Not yet,' she replied.

So true!

Harry]]> Jokes Thu, 05 Feb 2009 13:03:03 GMT http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/have-a-smile-t23.htm#52 http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/have-a-smile-t23.htm http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/i-want-a-raise-t54.htm Anonymous I, P. Niss, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons: I do physical labour... I work at great depths. I plunge head first into everything I do. I do not get weekends or public holidays off. I work in a damp environment. I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation. I work in high temperatures. My work exposes me to contagious diseases. Sincerely, P. Niss The Response Dear P. Niss: After assessing your request, and considering the ... Jokes Mon, 09 Feb 2009 10:15:53 GMT http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/i-want-a-raise-t54.htm#151 http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/i-want-a-raise-t54.htm http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/ghostly-story-t47.htm MikeH There was this haunted house on the outskirts of the town which was avoided by all the townfolk - the ghost which `lived' there was feared by all. However, an enterprising journalist decided to get the scoop of the day by photographing the fearsome phantom. When he entered the house, armed with only his camera, the ghost descended upon him, clanking chains et al. He told the ghost "I mean no harm - I just want your photograph". The ghost was quite happy at this chance to make the ... Jokes Sun, 08 Feb 2009 22:50:43 GMT http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/ghostly-story-t47.htm#137 http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/ghostly-story-t47.htm http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/the-assistant-t49.htm MikeH A doctor in Dublin wanted to get off work and go fishing, so he approached his assistant: "Murphy, I am going fishing tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all me patients". "Yes, sir!" answers Murphy. The doctor goes fishing and returns the following day and asks: "So,Murphy, how was your day?" Murphy told him that he took care of three patients. "The first one had a headache so he ... Jokes Sun, 08 Feb 2009 22:59:52 GMT http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/the-assistant-t49.htm#139 http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/the-assistant-t49.htm http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/how-far-can-we-go-t28.htm arkitekt
So what do you think? How far should a joke go?]]> Jokes Thu, 05 Feb 2009 22:54:31 GMT http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/how-far-can-we-go-t28.htm#70 http://fotojen.forumotion.net/jokes-f12/how-far-can-we-go-t28.htm